the view from here

My friend Caroline told me to write about my new view so here goes:

I can see from downtown LA to the Pacific ocean and it's a wonderful thing. In the morning the mist rises from the city to unveil a lovely ever changing vista. Sometimes the smog creates beautiful sunsets with shades of magenta and persimmon (beauty from the beast).

It's a bit like having a living painting really, the changes are something to look forward to on a daily basis. We recently had rains which cleaned away much of the filth in the air and made everything feel deep and heavy (very un- LA.. we are not known for our depth, just ask Woody Allen)and left the canvas crystal clear and utterly scrubbed as if a giant took a brush and Lysol to this sordid city.

I prefer this view, I used to have a "Valley" view over the San Fernando Valley and mountain ranges, beautiful but it didn't feel like LA it felt like I was in an ersatz mountain town with movie studios poking their water towers into the skyline, it just didn't fit. LA never feels like a city because it's so spread out and out "downtown" is really a no man's land. I can count on my hand the times I have been downtown in the last DECADE. I kid you not. I go to China town once a year for dim sum and to the Opera once every couple of years and that's it! You really need a car in LA it is not a walking city, case in point; yesterday I was at a gas station and a lady and her daughter asked me where a good shopping area get to on foot! On foot! I pointed a ways down the street and told them they would have a 30 minute walk in that direction to reach a decent shopping area and they looked at me like I was insane. New York, it ain't.

Back to my view. I like the feeling of looking at this city which has held me in it's precarious grip since the day I arrived, 16 years old and determined to make it in showbiz. I had a few hundred dollars saved up, a truck full of confidence (naivete mixed in generous portions) and the name of a talent manager. Now at 44 I look out at that view and realize that I am still that 16 year old, still wanting more, still looking for work and still unwilling to give up. The city of the angels will always have a place in my heart, it's where I grew up and where I continue to determinedly NOT grow up....My Los Angeles is a place of dreams, nightmares, luck and fame and for some reason this gamble...this risk to keep reaching for the "break" is as addicting as drugs or candy.

I'm happy I am a lion in a crow's nest, looking down on the city which has held my destiny for nearly 30 years, it makes me feel more in control to be on top looking down and that's a rare feeling in this city....control. In the last few years I have come to the realization that we all must diversify in order to continue working, the business has changed that much. So we go back to school and we take other jobs but many of us still wonder if we'll get that chance one more time, the chance to do what we love to do and get paid for it.
What a lovely dream it all is; life.